I think we have well established that I am a chronic over-sharer. Not in every instance or to every person, but I fit well into the category, generally. More specifically, I have a difficult time not sharing what I am feeling and that can lead to some uncomfortable moments.
There was a time that I tried to adhere to the appropriate timeline for expressing feelings of love - I said I tried. The fact is, I have never followed those rules. 1) I don't believe in postponing joy. Christmas and birthday gifts are often given well ahead of the holiday because I am too excited to wait to give a particular gift. 2) I've come to realize that the "right" time to tell someone how I feel may never come. Why not just tell them? What are we waiting for?
A lot of the time, I blurt it out at the most inopportune moments - at the airport on my way overseas, on line at Starbucks, while I'm getting the "it's not you, it's me speech..." (But I love you...yeah, it's definitely me).
And while it may seem I'm always in love, I'm not. I enter into a whole lot of like with a lot of really nice people. For me, I feel love. Often it is a rapid and almost overwhelming sensation - it is a gasp and a quick breath - "oh." I am one of those people who feel love deeply and if I don't, then I don't stick around. I suppose the reason for this is I have always wanted and needed love. "Like" and friendship is nice, but love is what it's all about for me. And I'm also one of those people who needs to be reassured not just by words, but by deeds, by the "look of love."
Ahhh, that look. No words (except usually me asking: "what? Why are you looking at me like that?" Because I just assume I have food on my face or a bat in the cave or something.), just a smile. THAT melts my heart (once I am assured that I don't have something on my face.) I'm fairly good at reading people and when I can see that someone loves me, I'm a sappy, mushy puddle.
Once the love stuff is established on both sides, I have the overwhelming need to share. And thank God for social media, right? Now all 1200 of my closest friends can know all about my new relationship status all at once. Aren't they so lucky?
And that's the problem for a girl like me; drawing the line between being open and honest about how I feel and TMI. So when I am feeling particularly lovey dovey because Pinterest has shared a particularly apropos quote about love with me, I have to share it with my cyber world. Not always, but sometimes I have post-post regrets. I begin to think perhaps this one was "too much," that this one crossed the city limits into "Enough is Enough-ville."
Benjamin comments on my posts sometimes, usually privately. He understands my compulsion to overshare, or at least he lovingly accepts and tolerates it (for now anyway). And I have offered to delete posts - "Too much? Should I take it down?" He has yet to make such a request, which I appreciate more than he knows. He gets me.
My whole life, I have sought people who understand and accept me and who don't attempt to change me. I know who I am and what sort of insane baggage I bring into a relationship or friendship He is one of those people who accepts me and can handle the Lauren bags (definitely a "Deal Maker" attribute.). So I have to thank him for just being who he is - basically perfect (God, I kind of hate him! Just kidding). At any rate, perfect for me.
Love is finding someone who just gets you and is all right with each layer of crazy. Someone who looks at you when you have dinner on your face and for no reason at all, and smiles. Someone who can hold his own in a political debate or a debate about the value of useless organs.
So there's your TMI. Happy post-election. I hope this particular post Trumps all the negativity out there (get it...).